40 Things Before 40

When I stopped writing I had 6 months left until I turned 30 and had completed only 8 things on my 30 things by 30 list. 

1)   Visit a psychic - [DONE – 10/2014]

2)   Sing karaoke in front of people [DONE – 10/2014]

3)   Learn Archery [DONE – 11/2014]

4)   Learn to Curl - [DONE – 12/2014]

5)   Try the Hydrotherapy treatment at St. Anne’s Spa - [DONE – 12/2014]

6)   See ONCE (the Musical) on Stage  - [DONE – 02/2015]

7)   Take a bartending/cocktail making class [DONE – 03/2015]

8)   Do the H20 floating Pod spa [DONE – 04/2015]

Though I didn’t write about them I did manage to complete the following items as well.

9)   Visit the Grand Canyon [DONE – 05/2015]

10)  Get my boating license [DONE – 06/2015]

11)   Attend a renaissance festival [DONE – 08/2015]

12)   Try axe throwing [DONE – 08/2015]

13)   Finally create the photo book of our wedding [DONE – 11/2015]

14)   See the Pandas at the Toronto Zoo [DONE – 10/2017] This was after I was 30!

I was really enjoying my 30 before 30 list but between pregnancy and the timing there was a bunch of things I wasn’t able to complete. I think that the idea of the list was such an amazing opportunity to expand my horizons and get out of my comfort zone, but giving myself only a year to complete it made the list problematic in many ways. When compiling it the focus became what was realistic and manageable and that was limiting in some ways. The more I thought about this whole process the more I realized I wanted to do this, but I didn’t want to be constricted by a short timeline and the limitations of what was realistic.

In 4 months I turn 35 so by starting a 40 Things by 40 List, I am giving myself 5 years and 4 months to complete this list.

Having such a long timeline allows me to really think big and focus on what’s important to me rather then what’s reasonable. I decided to carry over the remainder of my 30 before 30 List as a way to start (those are 1-16) and then go from there. It’s not complete yet – it’s something that I am taking a lot of time and reflecting on, but undertaking this is an exciting prospect. My life tends to be so consumed with the kids and their daily wants/needs, that time for myself and my interests don’t exactly come easily. I can’t recall the last time I was able to sit down and do something I wanted to do, let alone try and learn something new. Even now as I try and make time to write, its usually occurring at the very end of the day when I only have the energy to spend 30 minutes or so on the laptop, before collapsing in an exhausted heap on the bed.

I think that’s the other reason I want to really utilize my time in compiling this list. This list is about me – it works into my hopes, dreams and what I want for my life. Life hasn’t exactly turned out the way I envisioned in some aspects – but in all honestly when does it ever? I am so lucky to have my kids, my husband, my family, and my friends. I am blessed to live in a country that offers me rights, freedoms and free healthcare. And I am grateful for all the experiences I was able to have pre-kids in regards to my education, traveling and seeing the world.

Would I have liked to have something else going for me professionally? Sure, but at the end of the day I am helping in my family’s business and the job allows me the flexibility to work from home and be with my kids. Would I change our living situation? Of course, but again at the end of the day we have a roof over our heads and our kids have this incredible relationship with my parents and my brother and his family.

So here is my 40 Things Before 40 List.   

1.     Learn to make Sushi 

2.     Get certified in CPR and First Aid 

3.     Take Level 4 in Cake Decorating and make a 3D cake  

4.     Visit the Royal Ontario Museum and/or Visit the Bata Shoe Museum 

5.     Go sea-doing

6.     Go snowmobiling 

7.     Go to an NFL Game 

8.     Play Blackjack at a Casino (On my own without coaching) 

9.     Visit the Scandinavian Spa at Blue Mountain

10. Take some sort of dance class (Ballroom, Burlesque – something new)

11. Volunteer Somewhere 

12. Get back into doing Yoga – or something else like Pilates

13. Take WW seriously and lose 75lbs 

14. Try and to do selfless acts more often  

15. Take a Class for Professional Purposes

16. Swim with Dolphins

17. Go Snow Tubing

18. See the Northern Lights

19. Visit 2 Provinces I’ve never been to. 

20.  Write some of the short stories that I have ideas for

21.  Finally get a tattoo

22. Continue to work on being the best mom I can be

23. Be in a different living situation

24. Be fulfilled professionally

25. Try Horseback riding

26. Ride an ATV

27. Visit the Blue Lagoon in Iceland

28. Explore Napa Valley (Michelle call dibs on going with me!)

29. Pick up some sort of creative/crafty new hobby (knitting, sewing, string art – just something!)

30. Visit at least one new country – in addition to Iceland

31. Get comfortable driving the 401 – even if it means taking some sort of lesson

That’s what I have so far. There is room for 9 more – I vow that before my 35^th birthday I will have this list complete! So stay tuned.

Accountability vs Rudeness

Where is the line between holding someone accountable and just being rude? 

I will be the first to admit I have been a yo-yo WW member. I’ll be all excited and motivated and fall off that wagon. In the last 5 years I’ve fallen off twice due to pregnancies/new baby/hormones, a few times due to health problems (which involved medical specialists) and a few due to just life - personal issues/mental mindset. I know this about myself. I have accountability to that fact. I have never once said “WW doesn’t work” or expressed anger or irritation after a weigh in over being up. I know the program works when followed.

When I have come back after any of these “wagon fall offs” it’s my wanting to try again. Wanting to be serious and make the changes I know I need to make. Wanting to have the strength to stick with the program through all life’s curveballs. It’s hard to come back. It’s hard fearing the number, the possible judgement the overall disappointment in myself. It’s not something I take lightly and usually something I’ve put off for days/weeks due to those feelings. 

So when I do finally make that step in - I’m curious as to where that line is for the staff member - that line of holding someone accountable and just being rude/mean?

I had been putting the going back and facing music off for awhile. Gathering up the strength and courage to go in and get back on track after a pretty hellish few months. I was a few towns over and went somewhere else since I saw it and was like “it’s a sign” and went in on a spur of the moment decision. 

The woman there didn’t know me. Didn’t know my history. My circumstances. My medical information or details. All she saw was a weight gain and whatever other details her screen showed. I am sure my not so great track record was on there to some degree - but my point was she didn’t have the whole picture. 

That’s when she asked “what are you goals?” - okay, standard enough question. I answered and explained I know I need to get back on track and had had some stuff going on in my life - personal and medical. From there the attitude (which wasn’t friendly to begin with) turned rude. It became a lecture how health problems stem from weight gain (when I mentioned health problems having played a role in the weight gain). A lecture how I need to take time for myself - be it bringing my kids to meetings or making my husband (who works nights) help me out with childcare. A anecdote how people say she’s the “mean” one but then they come back the following week and tell her  it was what they needed to hear. (I’ll point out here my weight gain overall was 4.8 since September - so it’s not like we are talking 20+ lbs). 

I walked away thinking okay - she’s not wrong, I am making excuses, she has good points. And that was that. But then I started to think about it more. It’s now been almost a week and rather then wanting to go back and say “you were right and I needed to hear all that” (which she claims many people tell her) I want to go back and tell her that she crossed a line. 

She isn’t my doctor. She isn’t my friend or family member. She isn’t someone who knows anything about me or my life or my situation. She’s a women getting paid by a program I pay for - a women getting to paid to support and encourage. Not lecture. Not judge. Not dole out advice for my life, a life she knows nothing about. 

There is a women at my usual centre who knows how many times I have fallen on/off. And she’s held me accountable - she’s told me the program works and I need to take it seriously. And I need to do it for myself because no one else will do it for me - but she’s always done so in a positive and supportive way. A way that motivates me back into the program. Not in a way that makes me spend the week thinking “why am I paying for this?”

I know it wasn’t just me - because my mother who lost another 15 lbs (bringing her to her 50lb weight loss) weighed in after me and there was no excitement or positivity,  no congratulating her on that accomplishment. Just a “do you want your charm today or at your usual centre?” 

So maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she has stuff going on in her life that I am not aware of. But that’s the difference between her and I. I know I am not privy to all aspects of her life and circumstances. I’ll show her some compassion and hope it was just her having a bad day. In a society where everyone is quick to tweet or email or report bad service, I am doing none of those. I’m posting this - without any information as to the women or what location this happened at. 

I’m not letting her get to me. I had a good week. Went back to the gym. Tracked everything. But that was because of me - not because of her. And if I see her at another centre I’ll weigh in a different time. Because this is my journey and I don’t need anyone - especially those who don’t know anything about me - bringing me down. 

But I am left wondering am I being over sensitive? Was she in the right trying to motivate me? Or did she cross that fine line into being rude? 

How time flies!

So my last post was almost exactly 4 years ago.

4 years!

Wow.

In some ways it feels like that was a lifetime ago, in other ways it seems like it passed in the blink of an eye. Looking over those last few posts I couldn’t help but laugh. Topics such as trying out a digital perm, various alternatives to Starbucks and my 30 before 30 endeavors seem like such surreal interests and concerns in comparison to my life today. Since June 2015 (my last posting date) I have had two wonderful kids – Liam, who was born February 2016 and Katie in August 2018 – so life is quite different these days then it was back then.

Katie and Liam - July 2019

Motherhood is so many things – things I expected and many that I didn’t. My days are filled with toys, baby food, messes, tantrums, countless loads of laundry, endless dishes, a myriad of baby/toddler shows (some that I have become far too knowledgeable/invested in!), play dates, mom groups, smiles, laughs and of course tears – along with so many other little things. The friends that I see/talk to regularly are women who I didn’t even know 4 years ago. The beautiful purses I loved buying from Kate Spade and Michael Kors have been replaced by a basic backpack style diaper bag (when I remember it) or an old ratty grocery bag with diapers, wipes and my wallet shoved inside. I have been to the Zoo more times in one month then I had previously ever been in my entire life, and I always hated the Zoo! I have a membership to Reptilia, a Reptile World type place, when I was the girl who used to freak out when my brother would bring his Lizard anywhere near me. 

Basically in many ways my life has been taken over by two little humans. And despite the downs that go along with the ups, I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Obviously in the last few years my free time has gone by the wayside – apparently that’s what parenthood tends to do to you! When I was last into writing/blogging, I was trying to accomplish a list of 30 Things to do Before 30. Well, pregnancy and motherhood occurring during the last year of my 20’s and into the start of my 30’s definitely messed up those intentions! Plus, my blog was an outlet for my interests – primarily traveling – and other things that are easier to do/ muse upon when your life is your own. But, in the last few weeks and months I have really been wanting an outlet – wanting a place to write and express myself. I don’t know if anyone reads this – or if anyone ever did! – but this is my little corner of the world and I may as well use it. Even if its just for myself – I have very few places and things that are my own these days. Heck, its hard to even find a moment to use the washroom in peace without a toddler knocking on the door or a baby screaming!

I don’t know what direction this blog will take.  I don’t intend for it to be completely parenting specific, and obviously travel doesn’t happen as much as it once did. I guess Lifestyle would be the best label, but even then that feels like a stretch as that makes me think of people like Meghan Markle and Jillian Harris, and obviously my life isn’t anywhere as fabulous, stylish, put together or organized as them. I guess my blog will be more akin to the shuffle feature on my iTunes – some parenting, some travel, some recipes etc. I just hope I manage to update before another 4 years pass!

So here I go embarking on a new journey!

CHIC Punta Cana Trip

This post is a few months late (and back dated) because just thinking about my trip experience has a tendency to make me sick. Toward the start of summer, Brian and I decided to go away for a few days. We considered going to the US for an extended weekend and considered some places like the Pocono Mountains, Niagara Falls, Michigan etc. However when I looked in prices these places were the same price level as an week-long all inclusive vacation. Likely due to summer vacation and the fact that many people prefer island destination travel to take place in the winter and not the summer. It seemed silly to only go for a few days and have nothing included when we could go for a week and be in a tropical paradise with all our meals, drinks, included.

 

So I booked with the "Sunwing Surprise Escapes" which ensured a stay at one of four "five star" resorts. That promotion should have been called "Chic Escape" as pretty much anyone I talked to online or on the plane was heading to Chic. Which makes sense since Sunwing has ownership in it, so I wasn't too surprised that of the four choices it turned out to be the cheaper "budget luxury" brand. When we arrived it looked amazing - beautiful lobby, gorgeous decor. There were cold towels being handed out as well as some pesto-bismol looking cocktail rimmed with colored candy. You could see the palm trees and glimpses of the ocean in the distance. So it seemed like the trip was going to be as amazing as we planned. 

Check in went okay. They tried to up-sell us to diamond which would have been over $1000.00 more for the added benefit of a private lounge, private beach area, butler service, better liquor, a nicer bracelet and a better room. Maybe for a few hundred more I could see the value but not for that much more. Plus all the diamond rooms are right by the pool and either facing the pool or an active construction site which I had read was very loud. I wanted a quiet room so we stuck with what we booked and were at one of the buildings behind the reception. These buildings seem like an after thought and are clearly separate from anything diamond related. It was like they wanted to ensure we knew that our second-class place on the resort. 

Our first room was in building 6 on the main floor. While the decor was nice and the room spacious the smell of mildew was overwhelming. We tried airing out the room and stayed there for about 25 minutes but the smell was awful and making us gag. Considering the resort is less then a year old I was shocked at how repugnant this room smelt. We went back to the lobby and were able to switch rooms - this time to building 7 on the third floor. This room looked the exact same in terms of decor and still had a slight moldy/mildew smell but was much less overpowering and easy to deal with. We found that keeping the AC on high and opening the balcony doors helped limit the smell. The AC would shut off the second the door opened so we made sure we were in the room when we did this so it didn't get too hot. If we left and didn't have the AC on the room became an oven by the time we got back - likely due to the June heat.

It was after 3:00 by this time and everything but the snack bar - Munchies - was closed for food so we went there. My husband ordered a burger which was slider size and when he bit into it, found a piece of bone inside. I had nachos which I ultimately passed on eating as they were covered with this awful fake cheese sauce, think much lower quality then movie theaters. 

The pool area was beautiful - lots of pool chairs, a few umbrellas, a large spacious pool area and shallow areas where lounge chairs could be placed right inside the water. There wasn't really anything shaded (the umbrellas didn't even provide much shade) so my husband knew he wouldn't be outside between 11:30-1:30 each day. One thing I was surprised to notice was the Diamond Club swim out rooms. If I had paid the extra 1000.00+ for this room I would have been very disappointed. The impression I had gotten and the way most swim out rooms are, is that you can leave your room and be directly in the pool. Usually it's done lazy river style which then takes you to the main pool area. That wasn't the case here. The swim out rooms were just rooms with a square shaped small mini pool area attached. There were two chairs in the water and a small area that you could sit, stand, semi-float in. There were all attached in a row but there were walls between each room so you were confined to your space. They backed onto the pool area but the wall was high so you couldn't get to the main pool from your swim out pool without going into the room and leaving from the front door. A few times the waiters were serving people in their room pools but for the most part they weren't in use during the day. I think it was something that people used more at night more and hung out at the main pool during the day. Honestly it seemed like a huge waste of money and something I am glad I didn't upgrade to.

That night we went to the Italian restaurant for diner which again was beautifully decorated with a decent menu. The food was okay - probably the best food of the trip when you look at the overall picture but that isn’t saying much. I had pizza which was decent and Brian had lamb. By this point we were both thinking the resort had some pros and cons, but it was going to be a great vacation.

The next day we went over to meet with the excursion people which was a disappointment. The options were more limited then I had expected and the prices insane. We decided to go into a shopping area later in the week but not bother with any of the tours and just save the money. Breakfast was laughable – I have never encountered such a horrible buffet. The food looked like it had been sitting for days and the overall facility just looked dirty and didn’t make me want to eat anything from them (I opted for a box of dry fruit loops). Same for lunch – everything just looked old, and about to go bad. The pool area was amazing – very beautiful, truth be told any positive experiences I had at this resort were at the pool. But again due to the lack of shade, I was here alone. Brian would have burnt to a crisp if he tried to sit outside with me. Still I spent most of the time here – reading, swimming and trying to make the best of it all. 

One of the absolute worst aspects was the “concierge” of our building. You are led to think he’s there to make sure your stay goes as planned, but really it’s a timeshare ploy. We went to the “information session about the resort” after asking 5 times if this was about timeshare and being assured it wasn’t. Yet when we get there we learn it is indeed about Timeshare. Then when we walk out – as we have Timeshare elsewhere – the concierge treats us horribly for the rest of the day/trip. Not very comforting as he is able to get in and out of our room and knows when we have left to go to dinner etc.

We ate at the Steakhouse one night which was just okay. The best part was when I ordered a non-alcoholic drink, and the waiter gave me something with Blue Curacao and told me that wasn’t alcoholic… Yup, the staff were that knowledgeable! The Sushi place was probably the best restaurant in terms of taste and quality, but the Moroccan I don’t even want to think about. After eating there I got so incredibly sick – sicker then I have ever been in my life. Maybe it was the food there (you never know for sure) or maybe it was the bottled water (which never seemed sealed and to which I saw a maid refill from the tap which they tell you not to use). Regardless as careful as I was (only eating fruit you can peel, staying away from produce, cheese and anything else that can go bad, and not drinking anything but water I could tell was sealed) I was violently ill. 

A few days before leaving I had found out I was pregnant (which had nothing to do with how sick I got, a doctors visit home and testing proved I ate something at the resort which caused it). But anyways, because I was newly pregnant I didn’t want to risk staying there and being that sick. I had heard horror stories about medical care in Dominican, so at an added cost to us (since Sunwing wouldn’t let us swap flights and wanted another $1000.00 to get us home) Brian and I left. The trip ended up being a disaster and a complete waste of money – but we got home safely and thankfully the baby wasn’t impacted by the illness.

Below is my Trip Advisor Review of Chic Punta Cana:

“I am still amazed at how awful my trip here was. The resort has put all its money into make sure everything looks beautiful - the lobby, the restaurants, the decor, the rooms, the pool, etc. Any photo will make you fall in love with this resort - but photos don't tell the whole story.

Check in - they tried to upgrade up to a diamond room for an extra $1000.00+ which didn't make sense given the limited benefits. We stuck with what we booked and our room was way at the back --- making sure we knew our place as second class citizens in the resort hierarchy (trust me - we were treated accordingly).

Rooms - first room had an overpowering smell of mildew which made us gag. Second room still had it but to a lesser degree.

Food - was simply horrendous. I stayed elsewhere in Punta Cana a few months earlier, spent less and had much better food. The quality was questionable - bones in a burger, rancid cheese, a buffet that looked like it was seeing the same food from days earlier. The Italian was prob the only edible restaurant and even then it wasn't good. Room service was laughable. Watch out for the bottled water as hardly any of the seals were intact and I actually saw the maid refilling my bottled room in the room.

Staff - some were friendly, others clueless. The worst was when I ordered a non-alcoholic drink and got one with blue curaçao. The waiter told me that isn't alcohol just a coloring product. Then came back 45 mins later to tell me he was wrong and it was alcoholic (which I figured).

The pool was great - but you have to get there early for a chair. The beach was okay - as a lot of Dominican there is a lot of seaweed and such which is to be expected.

Honestly I feel sick thinking about this trip. I got sick four days in and had to leave early - despite the high cost to get home I was glad to leave.

The value isn't there. Considering it's a new resort the facilities look better then they actually are. And the restaurants need a massive overhaul. If you are heading to Punta Cana look into Punta Cana Princess - I had a much better trip there.”

So needless to say I don’t recommend this vacation spot!